Humans of GoCar

How to Dad in the 21st Century

Photography by Maria Bernadette

Raising children resets a parent’s priorities and it’s also a time of self-reflection. Today, we talk to Deva (AKA GoCar’s Head of Fleet Management) about the things that he’s learned as a father and his take on 21st century parenting. 

Whether you’re a soon-to-be, new or veteran dad, read on and let us know in the comments about your experience dad-ing or how you balance working from home while caring for your children. And since Father’s Day is coming up this Sunday, here’s an early Happy Father’s Day from all of us at GoCar!

What are some of your challenges being a parent in the 21st century?

I think the biggest challenge is other people telling you how to parent your children and we’ve had that happen to us. Instead, what I think we can do as parents is to find out about our children’s interests and encourage them to move in that direction. For our eldest, it’s music and it seems like our second son is too. So right now we have drums, a keyboard and guitar at home.

How do you balance work and life these days?

Deva and his family

While I have a full-time job, I’ll always make it a point to spend an hour with my family after work. I’ll talk to my eldest son (he’s 6 this year) about the challenges he’s facing in kindergarten or take him to the bowling alley. During the weekends, I’ll take my family to the shopping center and dine out together. Of course, Sunday is church for us and in the evening, we’ll check what our son has learned in Sunday School.

How is it like working from home with your children?

Thankfully for us, we have help. We send our children to the babysitter’s and pick them up after work so working from home hasn’t been too much of a problem for me. Then again, I’ll still head back to the office because it’s much more convenient for me so I’ve been going back even on weeks that I’m not required to.

Did you pick up any skills during MCO?

Yes. I’ve learned how to cook and that has made my wife very happy! To be honest, I’ve never stepped foot in the kitchen but now I make it a point to cook one day every week. I would look up recipes on YouTube and make them. And the other day I bought some crabs home but I didn’t know how to clean them so YouTube came to my rescue again. 

Are there things you wished you knew before becoming a father?

I thought things were going to be fun and easy but I quickly realised it’s another story. You have to learn how to manage your children and also keep your emotions in check. Now that I’m a dad myself, I’ve also learned to appreciate what my father has done. My mom passed away when I was 3 and ever since then, it was him who brought all of us up.

Any advice you'd like to share with the newer dads out there?

Spend time with your wife and start a ritual for the both of you especially when children are in the picture. For us, it’s having breakfast and going to work together everyday. Don’t ever think of putting your wife’s needs aside and place all your attention on your children because believe me, she can feel it. And I never want her to feel like she’s not my priority.

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TAN WAI KEAN
3 months ago

我真的没有住车吗?给我一份工吗?

Nazmi
Nazmi
2 months ago

Test